Thoughts From My Noggin - Post Religion

I've been thinking a lot lately about prophecy. What it is, why it's done, and how it's guided the expectations I've held for my life. 

Prophecy = A prediction, a forecast, or to make known beforehand.

In other words, prophecy is the act of seeing and declaring what you see to an individual, a group, a company, etc. In the Christian religion, it is used as a tool for reaching both the unsaved and the saved. There are Prophecy "Fire Lines", Prophetic Worship Nights, "How To" classes, preachers who call prophecies out from stage in general or specific terms, prophetic teams who travel from church to church teaching and prophesying, games and resources and tools in the millions on how to successfully prophecy. And if you ask me, it is reeking havoc on our love-starved society. It wreaked havoc on me, and I'm sure my own prophetic words, spoken in both innocence and attention-seeking situations, have wreaked havoc on those whom they befell. 

So let me begin with this question: Why do Christians do it? I give you 1 Bible verse: "Pursue love, and earnestly desire the spiritual gifts, especially the gift of prophecy." - 1 Corinthians 14:1. Here, in black and white, lies the answer. If Paul urged it, we gon' do it. Beyond that, there is one explanation that rises above the rest: to reveal God's love letters to His kids. Here is where I can find the beauty. Here is where I can sign up again and say, "Oh, please show me what's in that letter!". But here is also where I can scratch my head, grimace, and say, "We missed it, y'all. We missed it." 

Prophecy 1: "I just heard God say that you're kinda like a sour patch kid candy! You're really sour on the outside, but once people get to know you, you turn into someone really sweet." Okay. So ... I don't know about you, but I don't find the "love letter" in that. God, my Creator, the Man who supposedly loves me more than anything in the whole wide universe, told you, a stranger, to tell me that I'm a sour patch kid and I come off SOUR to people? I call false.

Prophecy 2: "You're going to do GREAT things, Sarah. You have an incredible future in front of you, and you're going to do such HUGE things! The amount of people you're going to reach is innumerable". *blink blink* Okay. This one. This I have heard since I was 13, from multiple people in multiple churches, venues, events, tiny rooms, street corners .. you name it, I've heard it. So what do I do? I expect that God, my Creator, the Man who supposedly loves me more than anything in the whole wide universe, is telling this stranger that I'm going to be the next Mother Theresa, Billy Graham, Katy Perry of the Jesus-world. So of course I think, "Woohoo!! I'm gonna have money, and get to do exactly what I was created to do, and everyone's gonna know who I am because God said I'm going to be HUGE!". Y'all. I'm 38, managing a coffee shop, living the day in and day out. There's nothing huge, there's nothing great, and there's nothing "Mother Theresa" about my life. And to further complicate the phrase(s): Does this only apply to my life if I'm inside the church? Am I still destined for these GREAT things even though I don't follow the rules and guidelines established by the church? Hmmmm ......

Prophecy 3: "I see you owning businesses and being involved in the government. You're going to make a huge impact in the world of politics!" Hard pass. Listen. God, my Creator, the Man who supposedly loves me more than anything in the whole wide universe for SURE is not the one who told them that. He definitely didn't whisper that in their ear, and if He did, then He don't know me. AT ALL. I call false.

Prophecy 4-a billion: There's too many to list them all here, but there are literal pages I've written full of prophecies I've received throughout the years that just make me go "hmmmmmmm". 

And then there's the prophecies that you don't get. The ones that your heart craves that God obviously isn't listening to. The ones that connect with the dreams and desires of your soul. The ones that call you into hope instead of trapping you in confusion. Confusion: You know, when you get a prophecy that says, "I see you working with children", when you can't stand kids and all you want to do is sing. Where's my prophecy about singing?! Ain't Jesus know who I am?! Ain't HE give me the want to sing?! Come on now. We're missing something. And that something is the voice of God. 

I lived, breathed, worked, craved, and if I'm honest: worshipped, the church and its family of dynamics and paths for over 30 yrs of my life. I, me, Sarah, can speak to the negative on these things because why? I was a part of the prophetic teams. I was on the prophetic worship teams, the prophetic prayer teams, the prophecy teams. I traveled with teams for the express purpose of prophesying. I had people come to me specifically so that I could prophecy to them. I had friends ask me, "If you hear anything, let me know! I'm desperate." I prayed over so many people, I spoke so many words to broken, hungry, desperate individuals. Words I sometimes believed were from God, but more often than not, I just hoped they were. I'm guilty. Y'all, I am straight up guilty of coming up with words on my own, anything to help the individual in front of me because I wanted so badly to help. 

Many times, as I've sat in teachings, I was told, "Ask Holy Spirit for a word for them, and just say the first thing that comes to your mind. Don't question it! Just go for it!". And so I did. Wow, how many times did I NOT read that person's mail?! *add nervous giggle here* 

Because I'm guilty, because I understand the tragic emotionalism that comes with religion, I can boldly declare: NOT ALL PROPHECY IS REAL. Is some of it? Sure! I'll be even more honest: I don't know how much of it is, though..

I left the church as an organized religion in October 2020, and I have been struggling with the words and phrases I was left with. Am I truly destined to be married to the non-vegan man who cooks vegan for me? Am I truly destined to sing and dance in large settings? Am I truly destined for greatness, and to be a mother to the nations? Or were these all just someone's attempts at making me feel better? Or, even more to the point.... was it someone feeling, reading, and feeding off of my energy, and they simply spoke what my energy craved? I don't know that I'll ever know this side of the universe, and some days, I don't really want to know. I want to believe the good, beautiful, soul-craving things that were told to me, no matter how deeply entrenched with the "there's no way that's accurate" phrases they were. 

I'm grateful for the years of prophecies that were given to me. But I ache from the heart-mess these prophecies left. So with this, I urge anyone who prophecies.... think twice. Be careful. Make sure it's God and not emotionalism. It's too messy, it's too heart-breaking, it's too much when it's simply you. 

To those beautiful people who loved me and spoke actual truth to me through the years, thank you. I see you, and I know that your heart was only for my good, and to help me through the tragical years of high-school, young adulthood, and womanhood. Thank you for encouraging me from your heart, even though sometimes it was just your heart and not His. You were trying, you were praying, and I honor you for your reach.

Thank you for coming to this evening's broadcast of: "Thoughts From My Noggin - Post Religion".